Almost twenty-one years ago, I became the luckiest person on the face of the planet. I gave birth to a beautiful little girl. Two and a half years later, she was followed by another beautiful angel girl. For the past twenty-one years, my life has revolved around being the best mom I could be. My days were full making sure they had everything they needed: food, clothing, a roof over their heads. Most importantly, I wanted them to know they are loved and cherished and that I am always here for them. Somewhere along the way, I put myself through LPN school and have worked as a nurse for the past seventeen years. However, the center of my life has always been being their mom.
A year and a half ago, my oldest daughter left home to start college. In January, my youngest daughter also left to begin college. Watching them take these first steps out into this world, following their own paths, fill me with joy and pride. However, now I find myself facing this question: "who am I apart from being their mom?" Returning to school has always been in the back of my mind. So now I am taking that first step in an effort to answer that question. Also, it helps to have something to do, something to study, when the house seems so quiet I can hear the walls breathing.
My biggest fear is failing. It has been so long since I have been in school and so much has changed. I wonder if I still have the ability to memorize and learn all this new information after all this time. My hope is that college will be an experience the girls and I can share and experience together. My goal is the LPN to RN bridge program. Hopefully at the end of this, I will have a better understanding, not only of the information being taught, but also of myself as a person. Maybe I will be on step closer in answering the question, "who am I apart form being a mom?".
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